Changing seasons

Long post here... I turned 45 this year, and that seemed to mark the beginning of a new season.  I started a part-time job just a couple days before my birthday.  It's been a big change, having not worked outside the home for the past 20 years.  It was the fall of 2003, when I was pregnant with Nathan, that was the last time that I had a full-time job outside the home.  I have loved being a stay-at-home mom, not missing any special times with the kids, attending all the sports and school activities, doing a little volunteering in the classes, being there for the kids after school, and having time to just focus on my role as a mom.  Being a mom IS a full-time job, just without pay and often without recognition.  It's been so challenging at times, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I know both the career path and stay-at-home path have their own challenges, but I feel like my chosen path may have been the harder path.  I feel like women today are pressured into the career path, that somehow they're not a contributing part of society unless they're climbing up the career ladder.  I know that's not true, but that's the perception of stay-at-home moms.  I know that I have been really blessed to have a choice, to not have to work outside the home to make ends meet, but it's not without sacrifice.  While I was making my 45-question quiz, I realized how thrifty I've been (or maybe just cheap!) and also how much I've learned about being self-reliant and resourceful in these last 20 years.  

Here is my last quiz question:      

45.  Which ONE of these have I ever used professional services for?    

A.  Manicure     B.  Pedicure     C. Massage   D. Hair Highlighted      E. Ears Pierced     F. Kids Haircuts     G. Housecleaning     H. Grocery Delivery     I. Family Photos    J. Dog Grooming      K. Chain Link Fence Removal      L. Wedding Invitations      M. Wallpaper Removal    N.  Interior House Painting     O.  Christmas Cards      P. Photo Archival      Q. Tax Preparation

The answer is family photos.  We have paid for professional photos.  I haven't ever paid for any of these other things.  I do the house cleaning, get the groceries, wash the dog, do the haircuts, bake the birthdays cakes, prepare the taxes, and do a lot of the home projects.  I wear the same clothes over and over, and we buy a lot of clothes at the thrift store.  I drive around a "sunburnt" 2005 Honda with over 200,000 miles on it.  We don't have extra money with just Alex working full-time and living in CA.  The budget is tight, and I've made sacrifices to be a stay-at-home mom.  I've reflected on these choices quite a bit and sometimes wonder what my life would be like if both Alex and I worked full-time.  We'd for sure have more money - that's a given.  But would we be happier?  More comfortable?  Would we be able to provide more towards the temporal needs and wants?  Travel more?  Who knows... What I do know is I don't regret choosing to spend all my time focused on being there for my kids.  They'll someday reflect on my choices as well and realize that I chose them and sacrificed to be there for them.  I know full-time working parents also make sacrifices and make time for their kids too, but choosing to stay at home is a clear choice of one over the other.  I also know that I have built some pretty solid relationships with my kids, and it's because I've been there every step of the way with them.  I'm friends with my kids as well as being their mom.  

I've spent 20 years thinking about my choices and consequences and how to best help our kids succeed.  I know there's not one right path and many ways of success, but I don't have any regrets so far on my chosen path.  But that brings me to my new season.  As the kids have been getting older and more independent, I'm not needed as much for the daily tasks and have more free time during the day.  We're also on the brink of the college season and don't know how we'll help get our kids through college... 

For a couple of years, I had been considering finding a part-time job, but I didn't want to be unavailable in the mornings before school or in the afternoons when they have sports and other activities.  Ideally, I wanted a job 4-5 mornings a week from about 9-12. I still needed to be available for family vacations and not work on the weekends.  I didn't want a long commute.  I wasn't excited about working a fast-food job.  I needed a lot of flexibility, and I wasn't sure if that job existed.  

Jared had a temporary job during the summer working for a print shop.  It seemed to be flexible, as they worked around his summer vacation and cross country schedule.  It wasn't a lot of hours.  The print shop wasn't far from home.  I had the thought that I could maybe take over that job when school started.  Then school started, and I had some projects to work on and things to be organized.  I love having time to work on photo books or other projects.  After a month of doing other things, I figured that the print shop job had probably been filled already, so I wasn't actively thinking about finding another job.  Then the owner of the print shop sent Jared a message asking if he knew anyone who might be interested in working 10-15 hours a week.  He relayed the message to me, asking if I was still considering the job.  I was still interested... but the thought of working outside the home terrified me.  I didn't know if I was ready.

I didn't do anything about it that day, but the next day the thought came that it wouldn't hurt to go in and ask about the job ("just go and see" was the thought).  I put together a simple resume, which was a little odd because I didn't have any job experience in 20 years.  It was about 4:00 in the afternoon, and I was still scared, thinking about delaying until the next morning. I was still tossing around the idea of working in my head, but the voice in my head said, "Just go now." It was almost like a little argument in my mind.  "Okay..." So I bolstered up my confidence and made the drive over.  I walked in the shop, introduced myself as Jared's mom, and asked about the job.  She was surprised, not expecting Jared's mom to come in.  I was equally surprised, not sure what I was doing.  We sat down and chatted about the job, the expectations, my availability, etc.  She asked if I could come in the next day for some training.  I was there for about 5.5 hours, learning about the different tasks.  There were so many steps and things to remember; my head was about to explode with information overload.  And then... towards the end of the day, her current employee called and quit, so then she didn't have anyone else to work during the morning.  She asked if I would be ready to be in the shop on Thursday on my own... I knew I wasn't ready and told her that, but basically said if she wanted me to try then I would be willing.    

The owner of the shop needed to take care of things at her 2nd home, which was 3.5 hours away, along with taking care of her mom that has Alzheimer's.  She assured me that I could call her any time and she would be working remotely through the computer system.  Okay, so here we go... 

I was on the phone most of the first day trying to figure out how to complete basic tasks.  I didn't even know how to work the copy machine!  It took at least 10 minutes just to find the power button.  We had a lot going on that day, with projects to print, packages to check in and out, mail to be distributed, people wanting copies or fax.  The toner needed to be replaced on the printer, which I had to figure out on my own.  The computer system went down for a bit and had to be re-booted.  The shop owner's phone died, so I had to figure out how to print from a thumb drive.  I didn't even know how to process a payment.  I had to learn how to do shrink wrap from instructions over the phone.  A random guy, who looked homeless, wandered in the shop with his bike and several grocery items.  He handed me a package of hotdog buns and asked if I could put them back in the fridge... it seemed like it was something he did often, so I just asked if he wanted me to put his name on the item.  He said, "No."  But then he decided that he wanted to put some more things in the fridge.  Meanwhile, his bike fell over, spilling liquid all over the entryway.  So I worked on cleaning that up while he fished around for more items to store in the fridge.  He then disappeared for a while, leaving the bike there.  I called the shop owner and she assured me that it was okay, because he was coming in to work there on Saturday... it was a pretty crazy first day.  

Things seem to go wrong a lot with machines and new projects require me to learn tasks on-the-spot.  I had to replace the label roll on the package mailing system by googling it and finding the instructions on-line. It's hard to find things, like specific boxes, envelopes, or paper in the shop.  I have to call or email about orders or payments, and I don't know how to answer most questions from the customers.  I'm not a customer service person, so that's the most challenging part of the job. I got in the middle of a payment issue one morning, after having sent an email dictated by the shop owner. The client called the shop and was really upset about the email that I had just sent and signed.  I didn't know what was going on with the project or payment arrangements and was directing that client to speak with the owner.  The client wasn't nice to me, but I did my best to listen to her as she threatened to not do business with us anymore and pull out of the project.  I then called the owner and explained the phone call and that she needed to speak with the client, which she did.  She smoothed it over, but what I wasn't expecting was the client complained about me personally, saying that I laughed at her while we were talking and that the client's mom had been in the shop the previous day and had a horrible experience.  It was me who was helping her, and I had no idea what "horrible experience" she had, because I was friendly and helpful while working with the customer.  It's hard being the only one working in the shop, trying to manage the usual tasks, unexpected things that happen, and customers who come into the shop with immediate things to be done.  It's also hard to get blamed for things that are lost, the cash register not balancing for the day, or things going wrong.  There are good and bad days, which is probably basically every job out there.  I just try to be calm and roll with whatever happens.         

Things have gotten better since learning the basic tasks of the shop, but I'm still learning how to do some things.  My hours per week are a little more than I expected, averaging about 17-18 hours per week, with the most being almost 23 hours one week.  We had a project requiring a lot of time to complete and not having anyone else to work during the morning.  Usually I work 3 days a week, from about 9-2:30, but sometimes I work 4 days a week.  I often don't have time to eat lunch and sometimes don't even take a bathroom break. The hours are both challenging and yet still somewhat flexible.  I haven't had to miss the sporting events in the afternoon yet.  I had a very light schedule over the Thanksgiving week.  I don't have a long commute to work, it's pretty flexible, and I'm making a little extra money to help with the family finances, so it's working out so far.  I'm still unsure about this new season of life, but I have a feeling I'm doing this job for other reasons beyond what I can see, so I'm sticking with it, trying to keep a good attitude and be a positive influence for those around me.  

September Birthdays

 We celebrated Alex's birthday a couple weeks after his birthday since he was in Scotland on his birthday.  He requested lasagna for dinner and Twix cheesecake bars for dessert.  It was a very low-key celebration.  

I had 3 different celebrations over my birthday weekend.  We had friends drop by as we were about to do our family celebration on my birthday, so they joined us for cake.  Alex made the raspberry lemon cake I requested, along with making Mongolian beef for dinner.  Then a couple days later, when we watched a General Conference session at a friend's house, they had a cake for me there.  I had already planned a friend dinner party on the Monday after conference, so I had singing and dessert 3 times.  I had decided to plan a birthday party for myself this year, so I could decide the when, who, and where with no surprises.  I don't really like surprise parties.  I also don't enjoy going to restaurants with large groups because it's usually really loud and you only talk to the people sitting beside you.  I wanted to invite some close friends to my home for dinner, so we could have an enjoyable time without the loud atmosphere.  I invited 8 friends over for dinner and dessert.  Six friends were able to make it that evening.  I sent the boys out of the house, and Savannah joined in my girls night.  I made taco salad for everyone, others brought side dishes, and my friend Julie brought a delicious chocolate cheesecake. Since it was my 45th birthday, I also decided to do a fun 45 question quiz about me, to see who knew me the best and just to get to know me better.  It was pretty fun!  My friend Natalie brought a beautiful flower lei headwrap.  I decided not to wear it for the evening because I knew it would be too scratchy on my head, but I did try it on the next morning.  

A couple other birthday highlights:  Alex and I went to Jared's cross country meet on my birthday, so we got to cheer him on.  I got to talk to Nathan via Facebook messenger and with my dad on the phone for a little bit.  Savannah made a nice card for me!  

On to September...

September was a little tough.  Alex left the end of August for a 2-week business trip to Scotland and Italy.  That left me to take care of everything at home.  I also had cross country meets and football games, back-to-school nights, and youth activities to attend.  I also delved into organizational projects around the house and garage.  The palm tree out by the sidewalk in the front yard decided to produce a ton of seeds that covered the ground.  Savannah wiped out on her bike one morning because of those big seeds.  She scraped up her knee pretty good.  After getting her off to school, I worked on cleaning up the seeds, which I had to do several times until Alex got back to get up there and cut the whole leaf down that had all the seeds.  

I also had been having to deal with a leaky water heater.  Before Alex left, apparently it had been leaking a little bit.  Alex just put a water bucket out there to catch the water, and Jared was supposed to check it occasionally and empty it out.  When I went to start organizing the garage, I noticed water all over the ground.  I spent the rest of the day cleaning up wet paper and things that were on the floor.  I needed to move out bikes first too, so when I went to take them around to the side of the house, the bushes were so overgrown that I couldn't even get through.  So I spent the morning clearing out a path through the bushes.  It was Alex's birthday, so I sent him a picture of the yard work I'd done, wishing him a "happy birthday..."  

After a few days of emptying out the filled water bucket every 3 hours from the water heater and cleaning up the night's overflow, I'd had enough of that. So after I cleaned up another round of palm tree seeds, I called a friend who is a plumber.  I got a migraine shortly after calling him and spent the next couple of hours recovering my blurred vision.  Luckily I got a handle on that before our friend got here.  He diagnosed the problem and said we needed a new water heater (it was 18 years old).  Thankfully he took my credit card, bought a new one, and installed it the next day.  I still had a headache and felt really tired, but I was able to drive the hour or so to Jared's cross country meet that afternoon. The tender mercy for the day was the traffic wasn't bad coming or going.  

I ended up getting Covid that weekend as well... although my symptoms were mild.  (I took a test because one of the youth had recently had Covid).  Anyway, some friends brought over dinner and flowers one day, which was really nice of them.  I wasn't feeling very bad, but I was really tired and also tired of cooking all the meals too.  

Since I needed to stay home for the week, I decided to finish the garage.  I went through several things, got rid of a lot of stuff, and got some organization in the garage.  It was a big project, but I really wasn't supposed to be going out and about with Covid so it was a good chance to get some home projects done. That just meant I wore myself out though...

I also had some challenges with my church calling, with some conflicting thoughts on activities and how much the younger girls should be teaching.  My calling had changed a couple weeks prior from 2nd Counselor to Secretary in the Young Women's program.  I wasn't overseeing the activities anymore, but I was still helping teach the younger girls.  Then my role changed again, and I wasn't teaching at all either, which I really enjoyed doing.  So I was a little depressed with the whole situation.  It didn't really get resolved the way I wanted it to, but I did find peace in what we had been doing since the beginning of the year.  I watched several videos on the church website and read through the handbook.  I did feel peace regardless of what had been decided moving forward, and I was grateful for that.  I think that's what we have to find these days - inner peace regardless of what's happening around us.  For a while my motto has been, "She who is flexible never gets bent out of shape" and that helps me in times when things aren't going quite the way I hoped.  I did come up with a new idea on a way to open up discussion among the girls during the introduction to the lesson.  I came up with different things to do for the categories of LIVE, CARE, INVITE, and UNITE.  The girls randomly pick out one to-do item, work on it for 2 weeks, and then report what they did during the next meeting.  It's designed to get them thinking about and actually doing things to bring themselves and others closer to Christ.  

To top off the challenges I was dealing with, my collage making program removed the collage feature, so I got behind on my photobooks and blogging... I am still not happy with the "grids" feature on Adobe Express, but Canva doesn't produce collages with high enough resolution for my photo books.  So I'm having to work with a feature that requires a lot of manual manipulation to create a collage. 

I spent a little more time at the piano during September, which was also comforting.  Savannah took some videos of me playing one Sunday.  I hadn't played for a bit, so I was a little rusty on the notes, but I'm glad she wanted to record my playing.  

I think Alex may have had the better deal in September...

What I was doing... at least the meal and flowers were nice.

A couple of piano pieces:

Once Upon a Time

Over the Rainbow

August Misc

Here are a few miscellaneous things from August.  I enjoyed a girls lunch outing one day after the kids were in school.  

We went to an Eagle Court of Honor for Jared's friend Jay.  They've known each other since elementary school.  Jared introduced Jay to cub scouts, but then when we came back from England, Jared didn't continue with scouts.  We're glad that Jay stuck with it and became an Eagle Scout.  It was good to see him and his family again.  We hadn't seen them much since Jared and Jay went to different high schools.  

Owen played not only basketball this summer but also football practices Monday-Friday.  Freshman football started right away with the start of school.  Owen played linebacker and punter, but he was also a back-up quarterback.  The very first day, during try-outs, they asked who wanted to play quarterback.  One guy stepped up.  So then the coaches re-phrased it to "Who can throw the ball?"  Owen's friends nudged him, and he and one other guy stepped up.  The coach then said, "You three are the quarterbacks."  He trained during practice for quarterback, but then he never got a chance to play that position during the games.  

We had a ton of apples falling off our tree in August, so it was pie-making time.  We made several pies to give away.  

 

Back to School

School started the 4th week of August.  The boys started a couple of days before Savannah, so we had a little bit of girl time before she started school.  We went to eat at Chili's and went to her meet-the-teacher day.  We did pancakes with all of us on Savannah's first day of school.  We still have kids at 3 different schools.  The boys set off in the rain on their first day of school.  Weston rides the bus this year, so he had a short walk to the bus stop.  He's now at the Junior High in 7th grade.  Savannah is the only one at Elementary School, in 5th grade.  She rides her bike 2 days (along with Alex in the morning and by herself in the afternoon) and walks the other 3 days (with me).  She likes her teacher, but she was disappointed that most of her friends are in the other class.  Jared and Owen are both at the High School, which is within walking distance, so they can walk together.  This is Jared's senior year and Owen is a freshman.  They are both in early morning seminary as well, so Jared drives to and from the church in the morning.  Two other friends ride back from seminary to school.  They come to our house on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, since it's late start day for school.  Four or five other friends have been coming to our house on Thursday mornings for pancakes, foosball, and hanging out before school.   

Our breakfast bunch on Thursdays

Owen's Patriarchal Blessing

We had a special day right before school started, with Owen receiving his Patriarchal Blessing.  Jared got to attend with us, and it was a spiritual experience for all of us.  Some amazing things were mentioned, with several gifts, such as the gift of persuasion.  One thing that stood out to me was the realization of sentinels watching over us.  I had the thought that some of those might be the babies we lost prior to Nathan, my stillborn sister Arika, or Uncle Jim.  We know that spirits are at work on the other side of the veil, even though we can't see them.  I also realized that eventually Alex and I or other living family members will be those supporters on the other side (although hopefully not any time soon).  The Spirit was really strong.  One thing that I've noticed in all of these blessings is the amazing potential spoken of, to be destined for glory and greatness, and also great responsibilities.  

We saw a beautiful double rainbow later that evening.  It was a reminder that God always keeps his promises!

 

Anniversary

Since we were in Yosemite on our anniversary, we took our anniversary trip the following weekend.  We stayed one night in the Carlton Hotel in Atascadero.  We had dinner at Street Side Ale House, right near the hotel.  I loved my pulled pork sandwich, sweet potato fries, and dessert.  After dinner, we headed to Paso Robles to see a light display, which was so magical.  We got to watch the beautiful sunset and then the lights slowly light up the whole hillside.  We strolled along the paths, surrounded by the lights and "chirpies".  One light display had music along with it.  It was great for a date night! 

The next day, we explored the shops of Cambria and Morro Bay before returning home.  

Yosemite

The end of July and first week of August, we headed to a family reunion in Yosemite with my parents, siblings, and their families.  We hadn't been all together for 7 years.  We got a head start on the Yosemite trip with a couple days in Mammoth Lakes and a backpacking trip.  Savannah and I camped for 2 nights while Alex and some of the boys did backpacking.  We camped the first night together with Alex and the boys, during which we discovered the air mattress wouldn't hold air.  That was one of the first things Savannah and I needed to do after we dropped off the boys - buy an air mattress. Savannah and I had fun during our girl's time.  We went swimming a couple times, ate out a few times, watched the Barbie movie, saw Devil's Postpile National Monument, Rainbow Falls, and Inyo Crater, got ice cream, went to a bakery, and kayaked on Lake Mary.  I think we had the better deal, compared to the backpacking crew.  They ate Ramen noodles and got chewed up by mosquitoes. But they enjoyed the scenery! 

We met everyone else mid-week.  We stayed with my parents and Audrey and family in one house inside Yosemite.  Mike and his family were about 15 minutes away, just outside the park.  Alison and Ashley were also outside the park, about 35 minutes away, so we did spend quite a bit of time driving back and forth.  We also didn't do everything together.  Some of us went to Glacier Point first thing on Thursday morning.  We met up with others later in the park to do the Mist Trail hike, which was pretty strenuous.  Most of us just went to the Footbridge, but some of the guys made it to the falls.   

On Friday morning, Alex, Jared, and I went ran the Wawona Loop (3.5 miles).  Jared ran the loop 3 times!  We all headed to Bass Lake for lunch, kayaking, and hanging out.  We came back to the same spot at the lake, after getting cleaned up, for family pictures and dessert.  On Saturday morning, just our family went to check out Taft Point (which definitely isn't a place to take young kids, with the sheer drop-offs).  We met several family members for whitewater rafting on Saturday afternoon.  We got to hang out with everyone that evening.  It was fun to meet Alison's baby Bethany, who was born in April.  Most of us hadn't met her yet.   

On Sunday morning, we went to church for Sacrament meeting in the Yosemite Ward.  We met everyone later at the ECCO Center, where we had reserved the place for lunch and hanging out.  We did a few silly then and now picture re-takes, although I don't know what happened to most of those pictures.  Audrey also arranged for us to make a giant "hug" card to write on and send to Nathan and had some crafts for the kids to do.  We also did a family devotional, where my parents shared their conversion story to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  We had a theme for our reunion, "Give Me This Mountain" (which is what all the blue shirts had on them).  That theme was used by the Mission President and his wife in the Denver Colorado mission when they served there.  The wife was one of the missionaries that taught my parents.  The theme comes from the Old Testament story of Caleb and Joshua and the Israelites wandering in the wilderness, with Caleb proclaiming "Give me this mountain!"  It's a reminder that we can do hard things and overcome obstacles and trials in our lives. 

On Monday, our family jogged around the 3.5 mile loop again.  We met up with the rest of the family for lunch and chat with Nathan (for his normal weekly Monday chat).  We finished out the day exploring Lower Yosemite Falls.  We headed home on Tuesday morning, stopping at the Fresno Temple on the way out.  We had a good trip!