Wednesday, March 30, 2011

10 benefits of having your husband out of town

I think I've had enough experience (3 weeks this month even) to share some advantages to having your husband out of town...  in no particular order.

1.  Showering, shaving, fixing hair & make-up, and getting dressed for the day are optional, unless you have to go out of course (in which case, you have to change out of the pajama looking clothes).
2.  Less laundry and less dishes to do - you don't have his clothes or dishes to wash and also see number 1.  If you wear the same thing every day, that's less clothes to wash...
3.  No junk mail cluttering your countertop or table.
4.  Less cooking.  Cereal, frozen waffles, mac & cheese, canned vegetables, cheese puffs, McDonald's, and slurpees are acceptable for dinner.
5.  You can finish off the mint brownie ice cream and raid the snack cupboard when you want to.
6.  After the kids are in bed, the night is all yours.  You can stay up late working on scrapbooking, blogging, and catching up on episodes of Survivor or watching chick flicks.
7.  No bug patrol around.  You don't have to feel guilty about squashing the "good" spiders instead of catching them and taking them outside (or letting them get out of sight... "You don't know where it went?!").
8.  Lots of quality time with the boys - outings to the park or playground, they come to you for comfort or tattling, tub time, reading books, getting milk and snacks, tucking them in, seeing them again a few minutes after putting them to bed - the time is all yours.
9.  People feel sorry for you and invite you over to dinner.
10.  The bed is all yours at night.  No snoring to listen to, plenty of room to toss and turn, and no one waking you up holding a screaming baby saying, "Do you want to feed him?" 

Whew.  I wasn't sure if I'd actually be able to come up with 10 things.

Now, to be fair, I'll list 10 disadvantages to having your husband out of town.

1.  If you want to get showered and cleaned up, you might have to sacrifice your only free time of the day (okay, you have to do that regardless of whether he's here or not...)  Also, you might be embarrassed when someone stops by and you haven't gotten dressed for the day (oh, sometimes that's not different when he's in town).
2.  You have to do all the dishes and laundry that that he usually helps do.  Also, the plastic kid stuff piles up faster than the regular dishes, so you never have that stuff clean or you have to run half loads of dishes.
3.   You don't get any mail, because you forget to get it out of the mailbox since he usually gets it (see, I knew you were wondering about that one...)
4.   If you do cook a good meal, the leftovers sit in the fridge and rot.  If you don't cook, you have to put up with canned veggies or McDonald's (and it's still hard to get out and get McD's).  And no matter what, you still get all of the clean-up duties.
5.  You DO finish ALL of the mint brownie ice cream and snack more often, feeling like you deserve it.
6.  When the kids are in bed, you stay up late working on projects and cleaning instead of going to bed early.  And when the little bedtime stallers infringe on your free time, you're the one to shew them back to bed or you feel bad about getting mad, yelling, or threatening them.
7.  There's no one around to take care of the spiders or other critters for you (except the thoughtful blog reader who brings over some professional ant bait that works really well).
8.  More time with the boys than you have energy for.  If you do want to exercise, it's at least a 2-3 hour process, since they all have to go with you, the time it takes to make sure everyone has snacks, and helmets, hats, bikes, balls, water, sunscreen, toys, and dealing with the screaming toddler that doesn't want to ride in the jogging stroller.  (Is it okay to leave him at home??)  But, at least it counts for quality time for the day, especially since you can't just run and come home.  You have to stay and play for a while.  Doing the bedtime routine by myself  DRIVES ME NUTS (definitely deserve ice cream after that process).
9.  People feel sorry for you and invite you over for dinner, which means you have to load up the kids, do all the talking (I'm shy and I rely on Alex to do most of the talking.) And I have a hard time showing up empty handed, so I usually will make dessert or something.  (Don't stop inviting me over though.  I do appreciate it.)  :)
10.  The bed is all yours at night.  Except when your toddler comes in and fills in the empty spot in the bed next to you, or after your late night projects you find him fast asleep in your bed after telling him over and over, "Just go to bed!"  And YOU have to get up and comfort the crying baby.

Anyway, however you want to look at it, I think it pretty much stinks to have your hubby out of town.  



Okay, so I didn't mind having a little bed mate...he looked too cute and cozy to send to his own bed.  But I did have a good laugh when I discovered him there.  I had thought, "Finally he went to bed!"  He did, but he got in MY bed.


Stay tuned for more March madness...

6 comments:

The Purtle's said...

Bless your heart!!! You did make me LOL though!!! I hope Alex gets home soon!!!

Melissa said...

Oh no, and Brandon left to go out of town today! I'm proud of you for coming up with 10 good things- it helps to think positive, right?? And I agree with the pajamas thing- which is probably why Jacob wears them all day long- my fault!

Mamapierce said...

I don't like it when Tyler is out of town. I hate sleeping alone. However, my house is a lot cleaner when he's gone. When he's home, I'd rather spend time with him than clean, so it's a mess. ha ha!

Anonymous said...

Jeff was out of town in March too! He's going to be gone in April again - he's actually going to be closer to you guys then to us. In preparation I bought paper plates and a ton of food so we wouldn't have to leave the house. I learned that I can do the babies completely alone at night which has been a good thing for him because now I usually just get up and let him sleep. I have to say, all the evening alone time wasn't terrible. :)

Carrie said...

It's nice to see you can find the humor in Alex being gone. I don't think I'd be quite as cheerful sounding. I don't know how you do it, but I guess your good humor is one of the keys to survival : )

Jeannie said...

I'm glad you guys came over today! I hope it was more fun than the trouble it took to pack them all in the car by yourself!

(And I promise I'm not expecting you to bring ANYTHING over when you come to dinner!! Though it was delicious!)