Happy 14th!

These were the only pictures I took from Nathan's birthday.  Alex was still in Dallas (there for a week), so he missed out on apple pie...

Here is what I wrote on FB:  

He’s starting to figure out that birthdays get less exciting the older you get... he got a shirt, card game, and money. He actually wasn’t disappointed (that I know of), but the younger kids were hoping one of his presents was a Lego set. Very boring for them!

Nathan is my easiest to please as far as desserts. He requested apple pie instead of cake (and it wasn’t homemade either). Love this kid! (who’s not a kid anymore!) 😊

Remembering Jim

Jim's funeral was in Dallas.  Alex was able to be there for that and gave the eulogy.  That was pretty tough for him.  Here is what Alex wrote about Jim:  

First of all, I would like to thank all of you for coming and expressing your support and love for Jim. It means a lot to my parents, other family, Monica, and me. As we reflect on the impact he made on our lives, we are reminded that although deep and impactful, 37 years was way too short.  As we celebrate Jim’s life, I would like to start out by reading a passage of scripture...

Fittingly, in the 1^st Chapter of the Epistle of James in the New Testament, where we are counseled ‘wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.’

One of Jim’s many strengths was his possession of these three attributes. I can’t remember a time when Jim lost his patience or spoke out in anger. He was always calm and collected. He truly watched out for others and could always be depended on for a good listening ear and a well-thought response.

He was never quick to anger. And as his brother, I would know. Looking back, I can see how easily it would have been for him to be infuriated with some of the things I did to him, but he wasn’t. Only being three years the younger, He was my best friend. We broke windows together, (mom and Dad, it actually was Jim), caught snakes and turtles, built Legos, and spent endless hours outside making forts and playing in the dirt. One of my favorite childhood memories was the making of snot stalactites on the ceiling by spitting loogies while doing the dishes in the kitchen.

Later, he went to OSU, were we overlapped for two years. There Jim officially became of philosopher.  Since being a professional philosopher isn’t very lucrative, Jim went to law school where he earned his jurors doctorate at OU and later passed the bar. So as of 2004, at least in the state of Texas where we stand now today, we can officially refer to him as Dr. S. He always loved the intersection of law and oil and gas. After a few years working for a law firm in Holdenville, he got his dream job in OKC in early 2008, but like many that year fell victim to the recession. Following that short stint, he returned to our home town...to run his own law practice for 5 years. He never really made the “sweet, sweet damages” by suing “for fun and profit” as he often kidded - Probably because he was too kind. As much as he joked, I don’t think he ever had the temperament to be a cold, cut-throat lawyer. Although he had the skills to out debate or out wit anyone. As the economy of oil and gas improved, and following a few other ventures, one of which brought him to Dallas, were he met Monica, he was able to get back into what he enjoyed most professionally - oil and gas law.

An avid OU football fan, I can forgive him for that..., he was always fun to talk to. He could give equally well-thought out analysis of the Thunder plays from the night before as he could on Milton Friedman’s ideas on stabilization theory... He was incredibly well read and a deep thinker. I often had to ask him to define the words that he used because I didn’t know what they meant. What I will miss the most is our conversations that lasted until the early morning hours - a continuation of our childhood habits - I will treasure those memories forever.

Jim enjoyed board games. I know with friends he spent many late nights playing and my kids and I loved playing games with him too. He introduced my boys and I to some of our favorites - including Global Mogul and of course, Risk. Everyone’s record in the game of Risk will now improve because the “Ukraine is not really all that weak.”

Like a true Okie he also enjoyed fishing. I can’t actually recall him catching a fish, but I could depend on him going fishing with my boys and helping them get ready or take their fish off the line. At our parents’ home in Poteau, he helped two of my sons catch their first fish.

He was kind and empathetic. Often watching out for the overlooked person or group. Whether that was a small unheard of political group in the Middle East or someone we all knew well personally. For my family it was always our middle son, Owen. We often jokingly said that he was president of the Owen fan club. But he always brought a unique but caring and empathetic perspective to the world.

As we say our mortal good byes to such a dear friend, I am comforted by a few things.  First, in the thought that maybe he was at one of the happiest times in his life. He had captured the job that he wanted, in the city he loved, and with the companion, Monica, that he deserved. He really had found happiness, it was just cut too short.


Second, I am also comforted in the hope that the resurrection of Jesus Christ brings to us.  Paul taught the Corinthians ‘’For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead.   22. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.’’  I know the resurrection is real.  Christ died to give us all the free gift of the resurrection.  And I look forward to seeing him again one day.

Although, I know I will see him again after this life, Jim, why could you not have procrastinated one more time - in your passing. We love you and will miss you. In the words of my son, Weston:

Come back Uncle Bim...

That reference to Weston was from one of Jim's visits to us - after Jim left, Weston kept saying "Uncle Bim" (he couldn't say Jim).  He wanted him to come back to our house.

Here are those videos of Weston:  

Here are some of my thoughts:

As the sister-in-law, I can’t say that I had a close relationship with Jim or even got to know him as well as I should, but yet we have been family now for over 17 years and had lots of good times. I don’t have a lot of particular memories or stories that stick out to me. Jim was a pretty low key, no drama type of guy. What I do know is how important Jim has been in Alex’s life - they were best friends. They sent messages to each other often and talked on the phone at least once a week (Alex was pretty consistent about Sunday phone calls and did talk to Jim about 4 hours before he died...) Jim was the one Alex always called for advice or to talk about sports, politics, and anything else. Jim was really bright and had a good head about him. He was always up-to-date on what was going on in the world. I was always so amazed at his knowledge!
Jim was really easy going and non-judgmental. He was the first S that I met after Alex. I met Jim over at Alex’s apartment in the fall of 1999. I don’t really know what he thought of me, but I found him to be a nice, easy-going guy. And it was the first glimpse at Alex and Jim’s relationship - they loved to talk and seemed really close. I think I got a few words in their conversation that day... 🙂

My kids loved uncle Jim. He came to visit us in CA quite a few times. He was pretty consistent about a yearly visit - we started to look forward to Jim’s January visit (because he visited in January a few years in a row). He was patient with the kids and put up with them invading his personal space, reading books to them, and being entertained by their Legos. They liked to play games with Jim too. Owen really liked Jim, and Jim seemed to have a special place in his heart for Owen too. He just seemed to understand Owen (maybe both of them being a younger brother). We joked about Jim being the president of the Owen fan club.
It was unfortunate that Jim didn’t get a chance to have kids of his own. One of my more memorable things with Jim was a conversation Alex and I had with him. We had been worried about Jim’s goals in life at the time, but he got really emotional and talked about his desires to get married and have a family. We prayed a lot for Jim that he would find a companion. We were so glad when he found Monica. They were a great pair, taking care of each other. We used to joke that Jim was going to have to find someone else who was really laid back and didn’t mind his personal hygiene! 😁 I’m sure he was clean most of the time, but he could wear the same clothes over and over. He always packed really light when he traveled - he’d bring a tiny duffle bag that probably had a change of socks and underwear and maybe another plaid shirt. 😀 He liked his plaid button up shirts.
One other random memory was back during our college days. Alex and I were over at Jim’s apartment. I used the bathroom and then wiped my hands dry on a hand towel in the bathroom. Big mistake...The towel smelled SO bad! Alex had wiped his hands on that towel too and we laughed about it afterwards. It must have been ages since that towel had been washed! 😜 I guess that’s probably just a typical college guy thing, but I still remember that crusty towel in Jim’s apartment! Anyway, this is getting to be a weird tribute, but really just wanted to say that Jim was an easy-going kind soul that couldn’t be bothered by the things of the world. Maybe he wanted more and didn’t have the opportunity, but he never seemed like a worldly type of guy. I am comforted in knowing that he was probably more happy than he had ever been in a while - he had finally found a companion and a good job that he liked. It’s unfortunate that his health didn’t cooperate. But we know he’s in a better place now, and we look forward to seeing him again someday. But in the meantime, he will be missed!

Italy

We had an early flight out of London Luton on Friday morning (December 29th) to Venice.  We found our accommodation for Venice, but we had to wait a long time to check in.  The whole place was locked when we got there - it wasn't a normal motel with someone at the desk.  We called someone, but they told us to come back later.  So we took all our stuff, found a pizza place, sat at a park for an hour, and then waited outside the motel for another 45 minutes or so.  We tried looking for other accommodations while we were waiting, but couldn't find anything less than $300/night.  So we waited for someone to let us in.  Finally got checked in and left our stuff there, but we had already wasted about 4-5 hours sitting around.  

And then we saw our room... and I really wished we had found something else.  The bathroom had a ton of mold on the wall, the shower was just a drain by the toilet (with a handheld showerhead), and there were only 2 double beds.  We were supposed to get 2 queens and a single.  Plus there was no sofa - just a small room with 2 double beds.  We piled 3 of us on each bed and one person slept on the floor (on a sleeping pad that we brought).  

We went into Venice that evening, but mostly ended up walking all over looking for a bathroom.  It was really hard to find any bathrooms!  We finally found one and paid 3 pounds for me to take Weston and Savannah in the bathroom.  And then they had to go again later... the 2nd time we let them pee on the ground, along a wall where no one was.  It was a cold night too, so we didn't have a very good experience in Venice.  Everything was really overpriced, and it was more grungy than I expected.  The Christmas lights were pretty though.  

This was funny - trying to watch Weston eat pizza with a fork:

We spent only part of Saturday in Venice - just long enough to take an 80 pound gondola ride for 30 minutes (or less).  Luckily they let us ride all together on one gondola - the limit was supposed to be 6 people.  They let Savannah be on our lap.  (Alex said if they were going to make us pay for 2 gondolas that he would let the rest of us go and he would sit it out.)

We had pizza lunch, ice cream, took some pictures, and wandered around just a bit.  Then we decided to go to Bassano del Grappo, a hour's train ride away.
 

We thought Bassano del Grappo was a hidden gem.  It was a really pretty town with mountains. We had never heard of it before, but liked it just as much, if not more than Venice. Of course the Christmas lights made a big difference.  I don't know if we would have liked these places as much during the summer (with heat and crowds).  It was crowded enough during off season.  But Bassano del Grappo wasn't as crowded either.  We were glad we went there.  

On Sunday morning (December 31st), we packed up all our stuff and checked out of our crummy motel.  We found the local ward for our church and went to sacrament meeting.  It was all in Italian, so we didn't understand anything, but we were there to take the sacrament.  After sacrament meeting, we took a high speed train from Venice to Rome. 

New Year's Eve will be remembered as one of the most stressful and heartbreaking days for us.  It started off okay - we made it to our motel and got some dinner.  Alex talked to his brother Jim on the phone for about 30 minutes (Alex usually talks to his family every Sunday).  And then around 8:00pm or so we headed out to explore Rome.  We wandered around for a while, making our way to the Trevi Fountain, where we did the traditional throw coins over our shoulder (to assure a return to Rome).  All of the Christmas lights were pretty throughout the city.

We planned on watching fireworks at the Colosseum, realizing there would probably be lots of people there, but thinking it would be memorable to celebrate New Year's there.  It was definitely memorable, but not in a good way!  We didn't realize just how bad the crowds would be - and it wasn't too bad once we actually got to the Colosseum.  But it was our experience with the metro that really scared me.  When we got to the metro, we were about 2nd in line to get on.  But as soon as it arrived and the doors opened, there was a massive push to get on.  We were getting crushed!  I thought Savannah was going to get crushed or trampled.  Protective mom came out of me, and I started yelling at people and pushing back with my elbows trying to create space.  It was useless though, because the people behind us were getting pushed from behind them - just a massive collective push from the crowd.  I was starting to panic though with the kids.  Luckily we made it on the metro and to the Colosseum.  I breathed a sigh of relief when we got some space at the Colosseum and found a spot on the hill to watch the fireworks.  I was hoping we would never have to go through that again.  But...as we were leaving, we were soon in the same situation.  We even left quickly after the fireworks were finished.  Most people were still celebrating, so we thought we were getting out early enough to beat the metro crowd.  But we quickly got caught up in a tight crowd, pushing with nowhere or way to get out.  We got Savannah on Alex's shoulders so she wouldn't get crushed, but Weston was getting squeezed in.  I had to push back and yell "There are kids here!"  But again it was useless.  I have never felt so confined and helpless.  We finally got pushed in towards the ticket gates of the metro only to find out they they weren't running the metro.  Probably a smart move on their part, because it wasn't safe with the crowds pushing by the tracks.  We had to work our way back out and finally got some space to walk.  I think it was only about a mile back to our motel - if I had known that before, we would have walked to the Colosseum as well.  It was pretty amazing to be there and watch the fireworks, but I would never do that again (especially not with kids). 

Savannah fell asleep on Alex's shoulders on the walk back to our motel.  We were all exhausted (our day had started in Venice.)  

We weren't prepared for the news when we arrived at our motel.  Aunt Jane had tried to call Alex, and he called her back when we got in (about 1:00am).  Aunt Jane told us the sad news that Alex's brother Jim had a heart attack and passed away about 30 minutes before that.  We couldn't believe it - Alex had just talked to him about 4 hours prior to that.  We were devastated, but consider it a tender mercy that Alex had been able to talk to Jim (and hadn't missed that Sunday call even though we were on vacation).  I'll talk some more about Jim in another post. 

We spent the rest of the night and the next day grieving and trying to figure out how to get back to the states.  We finally decided that just Alex would fly back for Jim's funeral.  I wanted to go, but I had to step back from the emotional decision and make a rational decision.  We decided not to spend the $6000+ for all of us to fly back.  I hated that money was a factor in the decision, but in the end, I don't think Jim would have wanted us to spend so much of our savings to come to his funeral.  Owen was the most upset, but he understood. 

We found a way to get back early from Italy.  We still had 1 night in Rome, La Spezia, Genoa, and 3 nights in Amsterdam at that point.  We found a train back to Venice on Wednesday and a flight to Edinburgh.  (Easy Jet kindly gave us vouchers for our original flights from Milan to Amsterdam and then to Edinburgh.  We couldn't get the 4 nights accommodations refunded.)  We stayed in Rome on New Year's Day - aside from making travel arrangements, we ventured out in the evening for dinner and to see the Rome Temple.  It was under construction, with a fence around it, and it was dark when we got there  - so we couldn't see it very well.  But it brought some comfort just standing near the temple.  Temples stand as a witness of our belief in life after death, and the work we do in temples unites families.  We know that we will see Jim again someday and that we can do sacred ordinances on his behalf in the temple. 

There were some photos of the Rome temple on the fence which showed what it will look like when completed.  It will be completed and open to tours in January/February 2019.

Since our train and flight out of Italy wasn't until Wednesday, we carried on with our plans and accommodation for Tuesday.  We did still get to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which is what Weston wanted to see in Italy. 

We stayed in La Spezia on Tuesday night and got to see some of Cinque Terre on Wednesday morning.  Beautiful area!  I'm glad we still got to have a peek at that part of Italy.  

We took a train to Venice on Wednesday afternoon and flew to Edinburgh.  Our flight got in nearly at midnight, so we stayed the night in Edinburgh on Wednesday.  We took a train to Durham on Thursday morning.  I dropped Alex off at the train station at 6:45am on Friday morning - he took a train to London and flew to Dallas on Friday.  

It was a pretty crazy week and a heartbreaking start to 2018!  Some painful memories, some cool places to see, some places we need to go back and see again (like Rome - if we can get past the memories associated with Rome.) Maybe one day we'll get a chance to go back to Italy.  I did toss a coin over my shoulder at the Trevi Fountain... but we're not ready to go back yet.  

Some day...but New Year's Eve in Rome goes down as one of the worst days of our lives.  

I think New Year's Eve may be a pretty hard thing to celebrate for a while, but we'll get through it.  This scripture came to mind:  

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning"  (Psalms 30:5) 

We'll probably have sad feelings on New Year's Eve, but we'll move forward with the hope and joy that the Savior and His resurrection brings.  However many nights of sorrow we may have, we know that there is hope and happiness ahead.  

London

We only had 1 day in London, so we saw what we could that day.  Headed over to Buckingham Palace (Weston was hoping to see the Queen...) and St. James Park.  

Big Ben was a must-see...unfortunately it was covered with scaffolding.  We rode around on some double decker buses, took the metro, and wandered around the city.  One of the pictures below is in Waterloo Station.  

And we saw a nice view from and of the Tower Bridge. 

We weren't planning on going to the Visitor's Center of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but we ended up coming across it as we were headed to the Natural History Museum.  And it turned up at just the right time, because we were searching for a bathroom.  We went inside for a bit, and noticed a large picture of a family in our ward in Durham.  It was a picture from probably 5-6 years ago (their kids looked a lot younger).  They were part of the church's "I'm a Mormon" initiative that they have done in the past.  This family submitted a video for that campaign. 

The Natural History Museum was cool, although we didn't have enough time to see it all.  The building itself was very impressive - night at the museum... 

We ended the night by looking at all the Christmas lights, which weren't hard to find.  Everything was lit up for Christmas.  So pretty!

London Temple

On December 27th, we headed down to London via train.  That evening, we were able to make it to the London Temple, our 43rd temple.  It was a little hard to get where we needed to be though.  We took a train to King's Cross, and then went from there to Gatwick.  We checked into the motel and left the kids there and then got an Uber ride to the Temple.  We figured we could also take an Uber back to the motel, but couldn't get one.  And there wasn't a bus either, so we ended up getting a taxi.  

We had to eat dinner in the cold that evening.  The motel had a policy of no food in the rooms, so we couldn't bring dinner in there.  Most everything was closed by 8:00 - we barely made it to a Subway in time.  But Subway wouldn't let us stay and eat in there, so we had to sit out in the cold and eat our sandwiches.  We didn't have a car to sit in either.  Oh well.  Cold hands, warm hearts. Glad to make it to the temple!

December

Alex took some photos in December of Durham - pretty with the snow.  

I made some salt dough ornaments for the young women to paint, to give to a local nursing home.  The kids helped paint some of them to hang on our tree too.  

The kids had Christmas programs at school.  It was nice to see them do the nativity at school - which isn't allowed in the US anymore... in the US, it seems that you can't even say Christmas anymore - they're "holiday parties" or "holiday singing" (and they sing songs like Jingle Bells instead of Away in a Manger.)  Nice to see that England hasn't taken God out of the schools.  Savannah got to be an angel, and Weston was a shepherd.  

We also had a Christmas party for the kids at church.  They all got a small present from Santa.  We had a special musical program on another night - I don't have any pictures from it.  But I sang a duet of "Do you have Room?" by Shawna Edwards. 

Do you have Room?

We tried to participate in Light the World program that our church does every year.  There are different scriptures and suggestions for each day of December for things to be a light to those around us (or to bring the light of Christ into our hearts and homes).  One of the things we decided to do was give treats to all of our neighbors - not just our next door neighbors, but everyone on our street.  I think there were 16 neighbors near us, so I made sugar cookie Christmas trees that we delivered. 

All of the teachers got little bags of chocolate.  And we had a special gift given to us - a candle with a picture of our family on it.  Loved having that to light our home during the year and particularly during Christmas.  That candle was also great for our Christmas Eve devotional when we read the Christmas story, sang hymns, and celebrated the birth of our Savior.  Our candlelight singing is a family tradition that is my favorite part of Christmas.   

The kids were excited for Christmas morning of course.  We warned them that they probably weren't getting as many presents this year (or smaller items), since everything had to either stay or go home in a suitcase.  They seemed okay with their presents.  Nathan got some very expensive tickets to a premier league soccer game.  (I'll talk about that game in another post.)  Their stockings were full of snacks!
 

This was my favorite gift given to me: a little piano that plays "Amazing Grace" - thanks Aunt Jane!  

December birthdays

Owen requested an ice cream cake for his birthday.  I hadn't ever made one before, but I did my best to make a vanilla vanilla ice cream cake.  He liked it!

I think Owen was a little disappointed to see so few presents... until he opened the Millenium Falcon, which he has wanted for a while.  He had no idea he was getting that for his birthday, so the look on his face was priceless.

Savannah wanted a pink cake with a diamond on it - I don't know if this was what she had in mind, but I did my best. 

She was happy to get some new dolls and a tea set. She also got a couple of new dresses and a whole box of paper!  She loves to draw and was quickly going through all of our computer paper, so we decided to get her a box of her own paper.  It lasted the rest of the year!  

Snow!

It snowed on November 30th - the kids didn't get a snow day this time around, but enjoyed playing in the snow after school.  It was pretty cool for CA kids who never see snow!

Savannah was content to stay inside and watch the snow from the window (I was too, but I snapped one picture with the boys)!

Scotland and Thanksgiving

By the middle of November, I was ready to put up a Christmas tree.  I bought a small tree and a simple strand of lights.  Magical and heartwarming no matter what size tree!  I also caught Alex dancing with Savannah - another heartwarming thing.  

Alex was gone for another business trip the end of November - back to Scotland.  He got rained, hailed, or sleeted on most days!

But rain brings beautiful rainbows!  I don't know if I have ever seen a full rainbow before.

We celebrated Thanksgiving with another American family, who also invited the missionaries and one other family for dinner - 20 of us!  (Alex missed out).  Here is what my friend Heather posted on FB:

 Thanksgiving by the Numbers

Days Late: 2 📆

Friends and Family Around the Table: 20 🍽

Countries Represented: 5
(America🇺🇸, Great Britain🇬🇧, South Africa🇿🇦, Mexico🇲🇽, and Norway🇳🇴)

Turkeys: 2 🦃🍗

Pies: 5 🍰

American foods Imported: 2
(canned pumpkin🎃, ranch dressing🥗)

"White Christmas" for the first time: 5! ❄️

Games of Air Hockey and Foosball: lost count

I brought rolls, sweet potatoes, fried chicken, green beans, and a couple of store-bought pies (I didn't make the pies...it was a feat to cook the other items in our little oven!).